Prayer

My heart heavy, I drop my bag
As if the emotional weight of this Dunya isn’t enough,
There is physical weight to go with the pain

I scan my room
Messy
As I rush to organize, 

My heart keeps tugging at my veins

Reminding me..

It’s time for supplication
Time for medication
Time to turn to your Lord, for he is the Almighty

Your sins won’t be taken lightly
So repent while you still can
And ask for forgiveness from Al-Rahman

I rush to the washroom to make wudhu
Washing each limb three times
I drown the stress of those over due fines
I look in the mirror and to my surprise
I can see for myself how well I’ve hidden behind these lies
Lies of this dunya that I need to break through
I’ll fight ‘til the end, even if I finish black and blue

I stand for prayer
My heart shaking
Quaking
The beat neverending

As I begin my prayer the tears have already fallen
My cheeks getting hot, as if in some place foreign
I make sujud, the tears running in the opposite direction
Making Duaa that Allah changes my defections
Defections within my heart
Everyday feeling like its been impaled by a dart

I take my head off the prayer mat
My tears streaming down my cheeks

I’ve been wanting to meet Allah for weeks
Finishing my prayer, I head for my drawer
Taking out the book of Allah, wanting more

As I read the Surahs revealed to the Prophet,
My spine shivers
The emotions within me have faded
My heart is flying, light, sedated