Crying Apologies

There is no definition for

Loneliness brought on by self deprivation

Rooted in fear and insecurities

That feed and propel

This ugly disease in the pit of my stomach

I harbor like trapped animals on ships

Dreaming of grassy plains and freedom

There is no reason to share

That I feel like death must feel

The surprise of complete failure

And vulnerability

I say it anyway

Aloud to no one at all

If tears held thoughts

I’d cry out  a million apologies

If one of them was good enough

I wouldn’t be writing down words again

Instead of looking you in the eye